Wednesday, April 2, 2014

B is for Beauty

So I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes people, women specifically happy or sad.  One of the things that keeps coming up in my mind is our feeling of self.  I think it is really hard for women to realize all of the amazing things about themselves.

Men to probably- but as I'm not a man- I'm going to speak to the women.

Now- I'm not about to regurgitate the whole 'beauty magazines are ruining our kids self image' or 'barbie dolls are evil' arguments that you hear all the time.  Mostly because I find both arguments deeply flawed- the reason? They take away our accountability and put it on someone else's shoulders.  I'm really very sick of listening to women and girls give away their ability to be happy- by simply blaming it on someone or something else.  Let's face it- that is the easy way out.
I could rant about all of that- but I'm not going to.  Maybe some other day on some other blog post- but not today.  What I wanted to say today is so much more simple.

Like I said- I'm talking to the women out there- men; if you are reading this- take note- some day you'll have a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, wife, girlfriend or some random stranger on the street that will need to be told this.

You are beautiful.  Yes you- the woman reading my little blog.  I don't know you personally, but I know you are a beautiful individual.  How?   Because we all are.  Each of us in our unique, clumsy, awkward way is beautiful.  We are also all insecure.  It's part of being human.  If you cannot believe me- that is ok- it'll take some time.

Here is what I have to do. I have to look at myself in the mirror and find the attribute that I'm the most proud of- for me it is my eyes.  I have genuinely beautiful eyes.  I think this is the easiest feature for most people to identify as their best- because eyes are beautiful.  That is what I start with- and I tell myself out loud that they are beautiful.  From there I go through anything I can think of that I love about myself.  It sounds silly- but it helps.  I don't do this every day- I probably should.

I have a daughter- and it is because of her that this has been on my mind.  I know that she looks up to me- and she listens- she's only 21 months- but she listens.  She knows when I say negative things about myself- and you know what? to her I'm amazing.  I'm perfect- and I'm everything she wants to be.  How dare I tear down her roll model with mean words.  How dare I set her up to feel the same way about herself.  No one does this intentionally- I know I often do not think about the things I say out loud as something that could negatively impact anyone I know.

I also have a son who is just over 4 years old.  He still has a lot of confidence in himself and I hope that lasts- but even he has heard me say negative things about myself.  He has a go-getter attitude though- I'm over weight- this is a fact about myself, I'm so busy with my degree that unfortunately exercise and even healthy food ends up taking a back seat to my homework and my kids.  One day I said something horrible about how heavy I am- and he looked up at me with his giant blue eyes and said 'mommy- why don't we fix you so you don't have to be sad anymore?' It was sweet but a slap in the face all the same.  My son could see that I was miserable- I needed to change my attitude.  (Hey- I briefly mentioned that yesterday!!)  I'm still overweight- I have a hope and a goal that I can get my life and home organized this summer so I can easily exercise and make healthy meals when fall semester starts.  That is my goal.  I'm tangenting a bit.

I share my insecurity- because I'd be willing to bet that everyone out there has nearly the same one, but even with that insecurity (or insecurities- as I know I have more than one and I assume that most people do) we can still be happy and still love ourselves.  Which is why I just wanted to say.

You are beautiful.



PS- Dove has a couple of really awesome commercials that I'm linking at the end here- if you haven't seen them take a look- they are worth watching.


'Real Beauty Sketches'

They have a few other ones that are pretty awesome- so check them out.

PPS- like everything I write on here- the person I'm speaking to the most is myself- but if there are others out there that I happen to help- that makes me pretty happy :D


  1. Beautiful , loved the example of your 21 month year old daughter

    We are all perfect and beautiful :)

  2. You write beautifully. your examples of your children make me tear up because it makes me think of my own and how much better of an example i could be. my 6 year old has caught me saying bad things about myself and i caught her the other day doing the same thing. i cried. i told myself right there to only say positive about myself, for her sake and mine. : ) great thing to write about. love the 'sketches' video. :)

  3. just watched selfie, that's really a great video. one i need to watch every so often. :)